UNDERSTANDING WHO YOU ARE

When I first began to learn about Higher Laws it made me question all that I thought I knew.  If Higher Laws were real, which as I tried them out I came to know that they are, that must mean something bigger is going on in this life.  If something bigger is going on in this life, that must mean someone has a plan for us. Quite possibly even a plan for me.  As I wrestled with this idea I came face to face with years of believing this life is nothing more than the right now and that there is nothing really special about me.  It made me question what I thought I knew about who I am. 

In this life we can be told so many things about who we are. We get these messages from all around us, our parents, our friends, the people who don’t like us, the people we do like, the media. There is a constant barrage about what everyone else thinks we are and who we ‘should’ be. As teenagers we wrestle with the complexity of the battle within trying to match up our independence with the expectations of others. Although this battle is still alive and well within us as grown ups, it often goes under the radar. We try to ignore the criticism of our spouse or the negative comment of another parent from school but really they eat away at us just a little bit. As women we are given so many messages about who we need to be. We are told that we need to be smart but not nerdy smart, sexy but not sleazy, fun but not irresponsible. We feel we need to be superwoman…our clothes not only perfectly matching but also clean (if you have little babies you know how hard this one can be), our house spotless, the perfectly manicured lawn with an abundant flower and vegetable garden, our hair combed and perfect by the time we walk out the door and our makeup done to face the day. We are told we need to the the perfect wife, never nagging our husbands, the perfect mother, never being frustrated with our kids and always being the model of love and patience. We are told that we need to have it all figured out…our finances in order, our kids in every activity they can possibly do, be experts at cooking, cleaning, and even sex. The pressure of all the shoulds “shoulding” all over us is a weight that can drag us down into despair and a feeling of being not good enough. But what if all those expectations that we and others put on us are not true? What if they are not only not necessary but are the very things that would prevent us from being who we truly are and becoming who we are meant be? What if we don’t have to be perfect? What if we just need to be perfectly striving towards improvement and our potential? What if we have a divine heritage, purpose and destiny? 

Myths of who we believe we are 

I once spoke to a woman I admire who has been in this earth for much longer than I have and she shared one regret that she had in this life. One thing that if she knew when she was younger it would have saved her a great deal of heartache. When she told me I thought "wow that's so true!!” She told me that her one regret is that she noticed that wherever she was at in life she cheated herself into believing she was not enough...not skinny enough, not brave enough, not pretty enough. However when she had the benefit of looking back through the wise lenses of time, she saw that in fact she was enough.

This is so true isn’t it? I recall thinking to myself as a teenager "I'm so fat!" And yet as I look back at pictures during that time I was quite slim. In fact I was more slim than I have been since then and likely ever will be again. So why is it that we can rob ourselves of the joy within the now? What if right now at this very moment we are enough? What if the trials, struggles and experiences we are going through at this junction in time are exactly what we need to learn the lessons we need to learn? What if these lessons and who we are now are what is required to become who we truly are meant to be? What if we are enough...smart enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, brave enough? What if when we accept that we are enough that allows the door to opportunity to open and reveal our ultimate potential and allows us to strive to be even better with a full acceptance and love for who we are now? 

Principles in action

I remember when I was in sixth grade and puberty hit with all the changes in my body and emotions that come along with it. I was awkward and insecure and searching for acceptance outside myself. Unfortunately a bully in my class noticed this and picked up on the one thing about my body that I was most self conscious of and of course he pointed it out…not just to me but to anyone within earshot. I was mortified. Not only was I a girl, but I was a young girl in puberty who was insecure and searching to understand and find acceptance about who I was. I began to take on the unkind words of the bully and soon when I looked into the mirror, all I could see was that one insecurity staring back at me. I couldn’t see anything else and I began to take on the identity of someone who is ugly. I secretly used every technique I could to physically change my appearance in hopes that would help me to feel loved and accepted.

Many years later as an adult I was talking with a friend of mine who casually talked about having the same issue that I had experienced as a teen. However, there was something different about the way she talked about it. For her it was just a normal part of growing up and becoming a woman and was no big deal. I looked at her with disbelief that she would talk about what I had previously thought was such a shameful thing. Then the realization hit me that it was not just me that was dealing with that body change, that this was a pretty common issue many women faced but just didn’t talk about. I realized that it didn’t define who I am and that I could be beautiful even though I was not perfect and that the haunting teasings of bullies in the past did not have to stay with me. 

Why do I tell you that story? I tell it to you because we all have skeletons on our closet about who we have been told we are. Maybe it is an unkind teacher, a parent who said an unkind thing in anger about us, a sister or brother who lashed out at us or a bully at school. Maybe it was a feeling of unworthiness from the barrage of media images about who we are supposed to be. However those beliefs about who we are came to be, I want you to know that you no longer need to believe them. That they are not true. That you are so much more. That you have a divine destiny and purpose that is greater than what you can possibly imagine. You get to choose who you are from here on out!

Let’s Make Sure We’ve Got It

• We are told many things about who we are from our family, media, friends, bullies and even ourselves
• We can chose to accept or not accept those things we are told we are
• We all have a divine destiny and purpose

Digging Deep

In the next few minutes I will lead you through a process that has freed me from the painful meanings and definitions of other people. I invite you to go through this process yourself. Find a peaceful spot, a place where you can ponder and reflect without the droning distractions that keep us locked into past definitions of who we are. By the way, although this process may only take a short period of time if we will engage with it with a full heart and the power of being present, the results of your work today with wherever you are in life will resonate well into the future and open you to your true potential. This will be critical for us to truly discover our divine purpose. Are you ready? Have you found that peaceful spot? If so, grab a pen and paper and let’s begin.  

1. What have you been told about who you are? 
2. What have you believed in the past about who you are and what your purpose is? 
3. What if you could let go of negative beliefs about yourself?
4. What if there is some important reason you are here and a very important role that you play in this life? 
5. What is one thing that you have forgotten that is beautiful?
6. What is one part of you that you love? 

Now that you have pondered you have the seed of transformation. Here comes the real work. In order for true transformation to occur we must take what we know into our daily lives. As Stephen Covey says “to know and to not do is really to not know at all.” Now we will take a look at some simple ways we can take what you know about who you are into your daily life. Here are a few questions to help you do that.

1. What is one thing you can do to remind yourself of the one part of yourself that is beautiful and that you love about yourself?
2. What will you do everyday to remind yourself about this so you never forget again? 

Now that you have begun this process of taking what you know into your daily life and have a plan of how to do it, you are ready for the next step to move forward towards your true potential. In my next blog I will dive into who you really are and your divine purpose in this life. I wish I had more time to explore it now but as with all things, I know it is with patience that the lessons can sink in. At this point though I hope you have a sense of how important you really are and that you do not need to accept negative messages about yourself that have been offered to you and that only you can decide to see your divine worth. As you do this you will begin to unlock your potential and see yourself as you really are. Then and only then are you capable of what the Creator has destined you to be. I know that these things are true and I’m excited for you to discover them for yourself.

WHAT ARE HIGHER LAWS?

Have you ever had the feeling like there is more going on in this life than what appears to be,  a sense that there really is a higher power in whatever context you believe that to be?  I’ve had this feeling all my life.  It is this feeling that took me on a  journey in search for answers to my big questions of why am I here and what am I supposed to be doing.  My search took me to the far away land of Indonesia, to spiritual books, churches and even to sweat lodges.  I found some evidence that I could not deny and some truth and yet I did not have a complete picture of what this life is really about.  That is until I learned one principle that made all the puzzle pieces fit together, that answered my big questions and pointed me in the direction of understanding the plan that the universe has for me and how I could work within that plan to create the life I longed for and live my purpose.  So what was that principle I learned that created this earth shattering collaboration with the universe? 

It's a Pendulum Thing

The principle that helped me to become a partner with the creator was learning and understanding the principle of Higher Laws.  What are Higher Laws you might be asking?  Sound kind of flaky?  Well it’s not.  Higher Laws are very real and tangible.  Simply put, higher Laws are principles that create results that work upon a paradox.They are a set of laws outlined by the Creator that when we align to a Higher Law, we get an alternate result.  It’s a pendulum thing.  When you take a long necklace with a pendulum on the bottom and swing it, you take an action on one side by drawing up the pendulum and then release it.  And what happens next?  It swings right?  The action that you take on the one hand creates an alternate response as the pendulum swings up the other side. It’s kind of counter intuitive. If you want the pendulum to go to the left shouldn’t you just be able to push the pendulum to the left?  You can but it’s not sustainable because the moment you let go, it’s going to swing to the right. To go in the direction we want to go, we need to take an action in what seems to be the completely opposite direction. That’s how the universe set up higher laws.  There is an opposite to all things.  To create the results we want we must do the action that is in alignment to the Higher Law that corresponds with the result we want.  

Have I confused you enough?  Let me give you an example. 

One example of how a principle works is that people who are constantly looking for love and taking their own temperature to know if they are happy will not be happy. People who are looking outside themselves and trying to serve others out of pure love are happy. It’s a pendulum thing, we cannot find happiness through an inward search for happiness. Finding happiness requires us to do the opposite by looking outward to serve those around us. As Mahatma Gaundi so eloquently put it, “the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” 

Higher Laws are Steadfast

I have sometimes struggled with truly understanding what higher laws are and how they affect me. Stephen Covey explains that “the fundamental idea is that there are principles that govern human effectiveness - natural laws in the human dimension that are just as real, just as unchanging and arguably ‘there’ as laws such as gravity are in the physical dimension.” 

Brandon Broadwater helped me to understand higher laws best when he relayed a story told by Frank Koch in the Proceedings, a Navel Institute magazine. 

"Two battleships assigned to the training squadron had been at sea on maneuvers in heavy weather for several days. I was serving on the lead battleship and was on watch on the bridge as night fell. The visibility was poor with patchy fog, so the captain remained on the bridge keeping an eye on all activities. 

Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported, “Light, bearing on the starboard bow."

“Is it steady or moving astern?” the captain called out.

Lookout replied, “steady, captain”, which meant we were on a dangerous collision course with that ship. 

The captain then called to the signalman “signal that ship: we are on a collision course, advise you change course 20 degrees."

Back came a signal “advisable for you to change course 20 degrees."

The captain said “send, I’m a captain, change course 20 degrees."

“I’m a seaman second class. You had better change course 20 degrees” came the reply.

By that time, the captain was furious. He spat out, “send, I’m a battleship. Change course 20 degrees."

Back came a flashing light, “I’m a lighthouse."

We changed course. 

What does that story teach us about higher laws? Higher laws are like lighthouses. They are unmoving principles like gravity. We cannot change them because they are not in style or convenient or even socially preferred. As Cecil B. DeMille said “It is impossible for us to break the law. We can only break ourselves against the law.” Brandon Broadwater explains that “the reality of such principles or natural laws becomes obvious to anyone who thinks deeply and examines the cycles of social history. These principles surface time and time again, and the degree to which people in a society recognize and live in harmony with them moves them toward either survival and stability or disintegration and destruction.” So I guess the question we need to know is; in our own lives are we moving towards stability, peace and even prosperity, or towards destruction, even if that destruction is a slow disconnection with the people we love. 

Principles in Action

There was a time in my life when I desperately wanted financial results.  I recall one day doing the budget with my husband Andy. I kept looking from our bank account to our budget hoping that if I looked at it just one more time I would see something different.  Tears began to well up in my eyes as I took in what I saw.  Our bank account was not only reading a negative amount, it was reading a very negative amount. I looked over at Andy and he must of saw the look of despair, hopelessness and panic in my eyes as he wrapped his arms around me and said “it’s going to be okay Con, we’ll figure this out.”  I felt a small bit of relief in his words but had no idea how we would ever figure it out. 

Fast forward a couple days and we are on a coaching call with our mentor Brandon Broadwater.  He had asked for an update about how things were going and as he listened intently to my fears and anxiety about our financial situation, he asked “so you want to make more money each month?” “yes” I responded. A glimmer of hope entered my mind and I thought “okay finally Brandon will help us to get somewhere.” Then Brandon asked me a question that cut to my very core and helped me begin to understand Higher Law principles. He asked “so how is your relationship?”  “My relationship?” I gasped. “What does my relationship have anything to do with making more money?” Again Brandon asked with piercing truth “you want to make more money right?” “yes” I responded again now losing a little patience and grace. “Your relationship has absolutely everything to do with your financial situation.” 

In that moment as the truth of that statement sunk into my very core I realized that I had a lot to learn about how to get results in my life.  It is incredible how once Andy and I began to improve the connection in our relationship, other tangible things like money fell into place.  We started to work together more on financial planning, we were more supportive of each other’s ideas and solutions, we became a team.  I know that might not sound like much but for us it made all the difference.  We went from being in conflict over money to being a team that worked towards creating a better future, which included more financial security.  What was the result? We went from being $1200 in the hole every month to having enough money for our living expenses, savings and paying off debt.  We paid debt off faster than we ever had before and at the time paid off 80 percent of our $100,000 debt in a couple of years.  The best part was that we were happy together and that our capacity to love one another and work together no matter the circumstance increased.  We saw Higher Laws in action as we created a healthier relationship which resulted in healthier finances. 

Let’s Make Sure We’ve Got it

• Higher Laws are just as real as physical laws such as gravity
• higher Laws are principles that create results that work upon a paradox
• We cannot change Higher Laws, we can just break ourselves against the laws when we choose to not follow them
• Following Higher Laws creates the results and blessings we desire in this life

Digging Deep

Whether Higher Law principles are new for you are not, here are some ideas that will help you to dig deep in your own life and apply the principles to get the results you want even more of. You can choose to ask yourself these questions, or not but I promise you that those people who dig deep and apply what they are learning are the ones who will get results. 

1. If Higher Laws principles are new to you, how can you educate yourself about them? 
2. If you know about Higher Law principles, what is the next Higher Law you need to align to & what is one step you can take towards aligning within the next 24 hours?

I’m humbled and grateful to be on this journey with you. I know that as you apply the Higher Law principles that you learn, you will experience more results in your life. They may not come in your timeline, but they will come. It is a pendulum thing and a predictable law like gravity is; if we align to our Creator’s laws, we will get the attached result or blessing to that law. After all, we cannot build the spiritual muscles of the soul by sitting on the couch of mediocrity. I promise that learning about Higher Law principle is one of the most important things we can do in this life. It is when we understand Higher Laws that we strengthen our spiritual muscles and can create the life we desire.  There are a few places that you can learn about Higher Laws. You will find pieces of truth in many places, however one of the place I have found the most truth is through the Higher Laws company by attending the Master Your Power Within event. What an adventure life becomes when our spiritual eyes are opened and we can see things as they really are.  

Much love,

Connie