SELF DOUBT

Self Doubt

There is something that lies in wait within us that when we allow it to run free, it can tear down our ability to reach our goals. It is so insidious that we barely see it in our lives and yet the effects of it on us can be so great. The difficult thing about it is that no one else can tangibly see it, a doctor cannot remove it, and we cannot look in the mirror and with surety say “there it is”. Yet it is within all of us at some time or another. What am I talking about? I am referring to self doubt. The belief in ourselves and what we can accomplish is one of the most basic and yet critical components to what we are actually able to achieve. However, it is in our very nature to have self doubt. Everyone in this entire world has it to some degree or another. Although it is in our nature to have it, we also have the ability to overcome it. That is what we will talk about today, the 4 steps to overcoming self doubt so that we can be set free to work towards achieving what we desire. 

To understand self doubt we need to understand how exactly it stops us. There is a challenge to overcoming self doubt and if we don’t know it exists, that not only stops us from overcoming it but makes it so we don’t even know it is there. This is the challenge of the self doubt wall. You see when we allow self doubt to enter our mind by entertaining the self doubt thoughts and allowing them to stay, it is as though a wall begins to form in front of us. All the negative thoughts about ourselves like “I can’t do this”, “I’m stupid”, “how could I have screwed up again” accumulate and block our ability to move forward. They keep us stuck in the dangerous place of inaction. When we understand this though we can move forward even thought these negative thoughts that accumulate into a self doubt wall are before us. There is something we can do to overcome the wall of self doubt. This thing will allow us to leap over the wall towards our goals. We can use something called rigor to overcome our self doubt. To be able to use rigor we must first understand what it is. Rigor is the ability to do something even though it is difficult. It is the will within us to move forward even though we don’t want to, we don’t know how, we can’t see how it will work out. It is our willingness to try anyways. In this life rigor is required to jump over the walls of our own self doubt. When we are in action we do not have time to ask if we can do it or not. You see, as Brandon Broadwater says “people will take you as seriously as you take yourself.” How seriously we take ourselves lies within our ability to see over our self doubt to our full potential and our willingness to reach for that potential even when we are not sure how. 

There are times in this journey however when we will be met with uncertainty. We may at times try and fail. We may feel discouraged about our efforts that are not working as quickly as we want them to. We may feel alone in our trying to succeed. We may feel like it’s not worth the effort. In those moments we must understand something. We must understand this principle because that discouragement that we feel can either drag us down to the depths of inactivity or despair or move us forward. It can steal our dreams or empower us to light a force within us that is so great that it can overcome anything put in our path. To underhand this principle I will share with you a quote by Neil A. Maxwell. He said “discouragement is not the absence of adequacy but the absence of courage.” So lets not allow the absence of courage to enter our lives and our dreams. Let’s not delay finding the courage within us to powerfully move forward and take the next step towards what we desire to achieve. There is courage that lies within you. More courage and ability that you can possibly imagine. It is waiting. It is waiting to be set free in the small consistent actions that you will take towards what you desire. So take a step. 

I promised at the beginning of this discussion of self doubt to share with your the 4 steps to overcoming self doubt. I am a woman of my word. The four steps to overcoming self doubt when you follow them will allow you to overcome discouragement and the wall of self doubt. It will light the courage that lies within you and help you to find the rigor you need to succeed. It will allow your creator to work with you and help you along your path. So here they are:

4 Steps to Overcoming Self Doubt

1. Alignment to Higher Law Principles
2. Manage your state of mind
3. Serve those around you
4. Stay in growth 

Now that we know what the 4 Steps to Overcoming Self Doubt are let’s pull them apart a little so we can truly underhand them. Alignment to Higher Laws really means following the Higher Law Principles you know are true. So for example if you know that it is a true principle to start your day by talking to your Creator and saying thank you, alignment means that you do it. 

Manage your state of mind means doing what it takes to not entertain negative thoughts about yourself that leads to self doubt. An example of this might be that when you notice a negative thought, don’t beat yourself up about it, just ask a question that helps you feel good. An example of this might be “what do I do well?” or “what am I grateful for?” Shifting our focus allows us to shift our thoughts, feelings and actions.

Serving those around us is critical to overcoming self doubt because when we are in the service of others, we get a breather from our own problems. We don’t have time for self doubt when we are engaged in the act of lifting another.

Staying in growth means allowing yourself to try and sometimes fail. Making it okay for your to learn lessons and discover what you can do even when you are not sure how to do it at first. It is only through trial and error that we can grow. Give yourself space to fall down. Just get back up, brush yourself off and know that you are in the incredible act of becoming more. 

Principles in action

I once took on the task of organizing an event that I had never done before. I was flying in an international speaker and had two other well known speakers to an event that I was the sole organizer for. The only issue was that I had no idea how to do it. I had never organized an event like that before. I was a stay at home mom most of the time and was working part time in my business. In the space between dropping off my daughter at preschool and picking her up again less that 2 hours later was my only time to work on this daunting project. I recall thinking so many times “I can’t do this” and “what if no one comes.” Sometimes the hardest thing I would accomplish in my tiny blocks of work was to overcome these thoughts of self doubt. To make matters worse,  I was having a really hard time accomplishing the task. About two weeks before the event I had a grand total of 14 people registered for my auditorium sized room. I was panicked. How would I possibly be able to pull off this event when I was already proving that I couldn’t do it? My self doubt became louder. I eventually got to a point of no return. A point when I realized that I couldn’t do it on my own but that maybe the Creator knew how I could do it and could help me. I began to use the 4 steps to overcoming self doubt that I leaned at the Master Your Power Within event and things began to shift. How did I use these steps? I made sure that before I called anyone I talked to my Creator first and gave up my self doubt, insecurity and fears. I managed my state by getting up out of my chair and doing my move (something I learned at the Master Your Power Within event to drastically change my state of mind). I focused on how I could truly serve the person I was talking to and asked the Creator for help to do so. I stayed in growth by being willing to fail and fall down and realizing that although it was not comfortable, it is an important part of growth. 

Doing these 4 steps changed everything and allowed me to go from having 12 people registered for the event to a place where the event was completely packed within a 2 week period. What changed? I changed. Even though I didn’t know how to do it, even though I was scared and unsure, even though I had self doubts I did it anyways. I took the next step, did the next right thing, got up when I fell flat on my face. You see we cannot be paralyzed by the walls of doubt when we are busy in action. Momentum disempowers self doubt. 

Let’s Make Sure We’ve Got it

• Self doubt can stop us from getting started towards our goals
• When we entertain self doubt it acts like a barrier in front of us
• We can use rigor to overcome self doubt by taking action even when we don’t know how it will work out
• 4 Steps to Overcoming Self Doubt
  1. Alignment to Higher Law Principles
  2. Manage your state of mind
  3. Serve those around you
  4. Stay in growth 

Digging Deep

Now that we have uncovered some of the truths about self doubt, you have a decision to make, will you apply what you know unto yourself? Will you take a look within yourself to find the areas of self doubt that are blocking you from reaching your full potential? What if the very thing you don’t feel like you can do is the very thing that the Creator is waiting for you do to, needs you to do? Will you put off your destiny for later or will you move forward courageously right now? You can start by asking yourself the following questions.

• what is one thing you feel like you need to do but worry that you might fail at?
  1. Alignment to Higher Law Principles - ask the Creator for help daily with the task you want to do
  2. Manage your state of mind - set a time everyday to work on the task you want to do and before you start the task get up and move your body (walk outside, deep breath, do jumping jacks, anything to get you moving)
  3. Serve those around you - ask the Creator “who can I serve today” and take action to help that person (helping those around you cheerfully will give you increased capacity and energy)
  4. Stay in growth - when you fail, just get back up and try again fast

I know you are reading this for a reason. There is something that you have been inspired to do or a goal that you desire. It is waiting for you and the increased capacity and potential that it will bring to your life. Don’t delay for an unknown someday. There is no day on the calendar marked someday. The time is now, today, straightway without delay. This is your moment so take it. 

Connie

UNDERSTANDING WHO YOU ARE

When I first began to learn about Higher Laws it made me question all that I thought I knew.  If Higher Laws were real, which as I tried them out I came to know that they are, that must mean something bigger is going on in this life.  If something bigger is going on in this life, that must mean someone has a plan for us. Quite possibly even a plan for me.  As I wrestled with this idea I came face to face with years of believing this life is nothing more than the right now and that there is nothing really special about me.  It made me question what I thought I knew about who I am. 

In this life we can be told so many things about who we are. We get these messages from all around us, our parents, our friends, the people who don’t like us, the people we do like, the media. There is a constant barrage about what everyone else thinks we are and who we ‘should’ be. As teenagers we wrestle with the complexity of the battle within trying to match up our independence with the expectations of others. Although this battle is still alive and well within us as grown ups, it often goes under the radar. We try to ignore the criticism of our spouse or the negative comment of another parent from school but really they eat away at us just a little bit. As women we are given so many messages about who we need to be. We are told that we need to be smart but not nerdy smart, sexy but not sleazy, fun but not irresponsible. We feel we need to be superwoman…our clothes not only perfectly matching but also clean (if you have little babies you know how hard this one can be), our house spotless, the perfectly manicured lawn with an abundant flower and vegetable garden, our hair combed and perfect by the time we walk out the door and our makeup done to face the day. We are told we need to the the perfect wife, never nagging our husbands, the perfect mother, never being frustrated with our kids and always being the model of love and patience. We are told that we need to have it all figured out…our finances in order, our kids in every activity they can possibly do, be experts at cooking, cleaning, and even sex. The pressure of all the shoulds “shoulding” all over us is a weight that can drag us down into despair and a feeling of being not good enough. But what if all those expectations that we and others put on us are not true? What if they are not only not necessary but are the very things that would prevent us from being who we truly are and becoming who we are meant be? What if we don’t have to be perfect? What if we just need to be perfectly striving towards improvement and our potential? What if we have a divine heritage, purpose and destiny? 

Myths of who we believe we are 

I once spoke to a woman I admire who has been in this earth for much longer than I have and she shared one regret that she had in this life. One thing that if she knew when she was younger it would have saved her a great deal of heartache. When she told me I thought "wow that's so true!!” She told me that her one regret is that she noticed that wherever she was at in life she cheated herself into believing she was not enough...not skinny enough, not brave enough, not pretty enough. However when she had the benefit of looking back through the wise lenses of time, she saw that in fact she was enough.

This is so true isn’t it? I recall thinking to myself as a teenager "I'm so fat!" And yet as I look back at pictures during that time I was quite slim. In fact I was more slim than I have been since then and likely ever will be again. So why is it that we can rob ourselves of the joy within the now? What if right now at this very moment we are enough? What if the trials, struggles and experiences we are going through at this junction in time are exactly what we need to learn the lessons we need to learn? What if these lessons and who we are now are what is required to become who we truly are meant to be? What if we are enough...smart enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, brave enough? What if when we accept that we are enough that allows the door to opportunity to open and reveal our ultimate potential and allows us to strive to be even better with a full acceptance and love for who we are now? 

Principles in action

I remember when I was in sixth grade and puberty hit with all the changes in my body and emotions that come along with it. I was awkward and insecure and searching for acceptance outside myself. Unfortunately a bully in my class noticed this and picked up on the one thing about my body that I was most self conscious of and of course he pointed it out…not just to me but to anyone within earshot. I was mortified. Not only was I a girl, but I was a young girl in puberty who was insecure and searching to understand and find acceptance about who I was. I began to take on the unkind words of the bully and soon when I looked into the mirror, all I could see was that one insecurity staring back at me. I couldn’t see anything else and I began to take on the identity of someone who is ugly. I secretly used every technique I could to physically change my appearance in hopes that would help me to feel loved and accepted.

Many years later as an adult I was talking with a friend of mine who casually talked about having the same issue that I had experienced as a teen. However, there was something different about the way she talked about it. For her it was just a normal part of growing up and becoming a woman and was no big deal. I looked at her with disbelief that she would talk about what I had previously thought was such a shameful thing. Then the realization hit me that it was not just me that was dealing with that body change, that this was a pretty common issue many women faced but just didn’t talk about. I realized that it didn’t define who I am and that I could be beautiful even though I was not perfect and that the haunting teasings of bullies in the past did not have to stay with me. 

Why do I tell you that story? I tell it to you because we all have skeletons on our closet about who we have been told we are. Maybe it is an unkind teacher, a parent who said an unkind thing in anger about us, a sister or brother who lashed out at us or a bully at school. Maybe it was a feeling of unworthiness from the barrage of media images about who we are supposed to be. However those beliefs about who we are came to be, I want you to know that you no longer need to believe them. That they are not true. That you are so much more. That you have a divine destiny and purpose that is greater than what you can possibly imagine. You get to choose who you are from here on out!

Let’s Make Sure We’ve Got It

• We are told many things about who we are from our family, media, friends, bullies and even ourselves
• We can chose to accept or not accept those things we are told we are
• We all have a divine destiny and purpose

Digging Deep

In the next few minutes I will lead you through a process that has freed me from the painful meanings and definitions of other people. I invite you to go through this process yourself. Find a peaceful spot, a place where you can ponder and reflect without the droning distractions that keep us locked into past definitions of who we are. By the way, although this process may only take a short period of time if we will engage with it with a full heart and the power of being present, the results of your work today with wherever you are in life will resonate well into the future and open you to your true potential. This will be critical for us to truly discover our divine purpose. Are you ready? Have you found that peaceful spot? If so, grab a pen and paper and let’s begin.  

1. What have you been told about who you are? 
2. What have you believed in the past about who you are and what your purpose is? 
3. What if you could let go of negative beliefs about yourself?
4. What if there is some important reason you are here and a very important role that you play in this life? 
5. What is one thing that you have forgotten that is beautiful?
6. What is one part of you that you love? 

Now that you have pondered you have the seed of transformation. Here comes the real work. In order for true transformation to occur we must take what we know into our daily lives. As Stephen Covey says “to know and to not do is really to not know at all.” Now we will take a look at some simple ways we can take what you know about who you are into your daily life. Here are a few questions to help you do that.

1. What is one thing you can do to remind yourself of the one part of yourself that is beautiful and that you love about yourself?
2. What will you do everyday to remind yourself about this so you never forget again? 

Now that you have begun this process of taking what you know into your daily life and have a plan of how to do it, you are ready for the next step to move forward towards your true potential. In my next blog I will dive into who you really are and your divine purpose in this life. I wish I had more time to explore it now but as with all things, I know it is with patience that the lessons can sink in. At this point though I hope you have a sense of how important you really are and that you do not need to accept negative messages about yourself that have been offered to you and that only you can decide to see your divine worth. As you do this you will begin to unlock your potential and see yourself as you really are. Then and only then are you capable of what the Creator has destined you to be. I know that these things are true and I’m excited for you to discover them for yourself.

NO GUILT RAW CHOCOLATE

For awhile now I have been talking about how eating healthier has been a journey for me. I have always had two sides within myself battling when it comes to food. There is the part of me that knows that what I put into my body will affect how I feel, think and act. This part of myself has a true desire to eat healthy, choose the spinach smoothie over the doughnut, eat the salad over the grilled cheese. Then there is another part of me that wants everything to be fun and delicious…and is genuinely saddened by the prospect of eating green smoothies and chia for dessert every single day of my life. I can justify almost anything when it comes to food. Justifications that sound a lot like “of course I can eat cake for breakfast, I’ve been so good all week." Whenever I give in to my sugary pleasures though. my state crashes and I feel terrible. Not just because of the inevitable sugar crash afterwards…though there definitely is one, but also because of the inevitable guilt crash. When I over indulge in the food department of my life, I felt guilty because I felt like I was weak for giving into my culinary pleasures. 

Then I came upon a program that has changed my eating and my life. It has given me back a sense of control with juggling my desires to eat healthy while eating yummy. This program has helped me to recover from decades of poor eating choices, while learning how to eat in a way that leaves me feeling full, energized and excited about food. It has taught me how to eat what I love (even chocolate!) in a way that is happy and healthy and with no guilt. What is the program I am talking about? I am talking about the Healthfix Program. I took part in the 30 day Healthfix program and it has made such an incredible difference for my family. Over the last 30 days, my husband Andy has lost over 25 pounds and his hotness has increased to the “wow I’m married to that hottie!”side of the line. My daughters are asking for healthy treats and my 2 year old daughter is asking for green smoothies everyday. I have lost about 5 pounds and can finally fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans! I have so much more energy and patience with my kids. I am loving to eat healthy treats that are so unbelievably chocolaty and delicious that I don’t even crave the surgery treats! Okay for me this was huge! 

I was thinking about why this program has been such a game changer for me when other diets and programs have not worked for me in the past. I think it is because in the past when I have tried other dieting or weight loss programs, I felt deprived. With other programs I felt like I had to do without to win so it was a matter of willing myself to not eat chocolate cake and willing myself to work out in the morning. This kind of change based on willpower only lasted a little while before my willpower muscles got tired and I reached for a candy bar and stopped going for a run. The Healthfix program is different because it gently took me through a detoxification process using all natural and healthy foods. Then it helped me learn through experience how to shop for and prepare healthy foods that fuel my body and leave me feeling full. The weekly coaching helped me understand how eating this way was helping my body heal itself. The healthy food detoxification, learning how to cook in a healthy way and the coaching in the Healthfix program combined to create an effect where my body naturally began to heal itself so I feel better and as my body started to change, my desires changed. I began to crave the boost of energy I feel after a smoothie and I craved the healthy and yummy chocolate treats over the regular sugary kind. I'm not perfect but the thing that I love most about this program is that I don't have to be! When I am regularly eating the healthy foods my body needs, I can still eat some of my old foods favorite foods in moderation. The funny thing is though, I have replaced most of these foods with healthy alternatives anyways!

So today in the spirit of Valentines Day I wanted to share with you one of my favorite chocolatey treats that is so unbelievably simple to make. I love this recipe because it has has a number of health benefits and is is yummy vegan milk chocolate. Try it out and let me know what you think. 

RAW MILK CHOCOLATE RECIPE

1/2 c raw honey

1/2 c coconut oil

1/2 c cacao powder

1/2 tsp vanilla

*4 tbsp full fat coconut milk (this is the solid part skimmed off a can of coconut milk that’s been refrigerated overnight)

• Place all ingredients in a food processor and blend until smooth
• If you want, add any other mixings you like (cranberries, coconut, chopped nuts, raisins) and stir
• For chocolates: pour into moulds to make little chocolates & refrigerate for 1 hour
• For chocolate dipped strawberries: dip washed and patted dry strawberries in the chocolate & put on a plate lined with parchment paper and refrigerate 1 hour
• For frozen chocolate dipped bananas: put a full banana on a chopstick and pour the chocolate over the banana, sprinkle chopped nuts on the chocolate if desired and put on a plate lined with parchment paper and freeze for 2 hours
• *you can leave out the coconut milk if you want more of a semi sweet chocolate

Principle in Action

I remember one day I was feeling kind of defeated. I stepped on the scale and didn’t see much change. I got out my measuring tape and as I measured my waist, I didn’t see as much belly fat loss as I wanted. I felt like giving up and thought “well if I am going to be the same, I might as well eat whatever I want to eat!” Then I indulged in eating some pizza…the cheesy, sloppy kind that comes in a huge brown box. I ate a slice of pizza, and then another, and then another, and then another. I ate beyond the “I’m hungry side of the line” to the “I’m so full I can’t move side of the line.” I went to bed and that night and I felt sick…really sick. I’m talking sore throat, nauseous kind of sick. I woke up the next morning, got back on track with the Healthfix program of green smoothies and something incredible happened. 

Within a couple hours I felt better! My sore throat went away, I didn’t feel sick anymore…like at all! I realized in that moment that when I am making a shift towards a healthier lifestyle sometimes the physical changes that I want don’t come as quickly as I would like them to but there is something bigger going on within me. It is a physical shift towards my body being in a healthier state, being more able to recover from sickness, more able to heal itself. Now I am not saying I am never going to eat pizza…I love pizza! We even have pizza night at our house still…although we use a cauliflower crust and it really is seriously delicious! I even will have the messy, cheesy, big box kind of pizza once in awhile…although I definitely learned a lesson about aligning to moderation! Maybe I’ll have some veggies first. I am saying that sometimes when we make changes in this life, we need to be patient with the results and trust that fundamental shifts are happening when we can’t see them. We need to remember the big picture and remember that the small things…feeling more energy, feeling happier are actually big things and are indeed worth it.  

Let’s make sure we’ve got it

We have talked about some principles relating to health so let’s review to make sure we’ve got it. 

• We don’t need to be perfect, we just need to be striving
• It is possible to eat healthy treats…and now you have the best yummy no guilt chocolate recipe ever
• When we make changes in healthy eating, we get momentum and eventually we desire healthier foods
• We need to stick with the process with patience by continuing to do the little steps towards better health

Digging Deep

All of us have edges of where we want to grow in the area of health. Maybe we want to feel more energy, or fit into our jeans, or be alive for our grandchildren, or feel more confident. I have talked about one of the areas in my life that I have been working on. Where is an area in your life that you want to be even healthier? Grab a pen and paper and let’s explore some questions that will help you to get clarity on how to get there.  

1. What do you want to be different in your life to be even healthier?
2. Why is this important to you?
3. What would happen if you don’t do this?
4. What is one specific daily step you can take towards this vision of a healthier you?
5. When can you do this everyday? 
6. How are you going to get back up and keep taking steps towards this goal when you forget or slip into old patterns?
7. Who can support you with this goal? Maybe it’s a friend, partner or program.

Now that we have talked about some principles about health and I have given you one of my favorite healthy treat recipes...I know you are going to love this chocolate recipe and all the delicious treats it can make! I wish I could give you all the delicious recipes that I have learned through the Healthfix program but there just is not room on this blog for all the juices, smoothies, dinners and treats! I just tried a raw cinnamon swirl recipe and raw chocolate brownies that are out of this world! I am so grateful to learn how I can create pure moments with my family around yummy food without paying the cost of the sugar crash crazies afterwards! If you would like to talk to a coach about how you could get started on your journey to health, click here. 

After you try the raw chocolate recipe please let me know what you think. I hope you have a wonderful Valentines Day that is filled with healthy yummy chocolately treats :)

Much love,
Connie

TOP REASON WOMEN COME LAST...AND HOW TO COME FIRST!

In today's society women come last.  Who are the biggest culprits creating this epidemic of stressed out and overwhelmed proportions?  Is it egotistical men?  How about society?

Nope it's actually women putting themselves last.  What?! Did I really just say that.  You bet! So how can I make a crazy claim that women come last because of women?  I can because I have done this myself and have seen so many women make this deadly mistake.  It is in the very nature of the feminine to put others before herself...often to the detriment of her health, overall well being and the relationships she desires the most.

So what is the answer to this epidemic of women being over worked, over tired, over stressed and coming in last?  

It's simple...by aligning to one principle women are able to take back their lives and feel more happy, more in control, more connected with the people they love and...wait for it...this is a gooder...actually enjoy life!

Before I dive into the one principle that allows women to experience this level of effectiveness, peace and joy let me ask you a question.  When you think of the main priorities that a women faces such as being connected to a higher power, herself, kids, partner and public (everyone else). Who usually comes first?  Usually kids come first, then partner, then public, then herself and a connection to a higher power.  What is the result of this?  Feelings of resentment towards her partner (any wonder that 50% of marriages end in divorce?), frustration with parenting, lack of energy and feeling overwhelmed.

So what is the answer so that women can come first in a happy, healthy and productive way?  What sets women free to feel more joy, love and effectiveness in their lives?  Well when I learned about this principle at the Mastering Your Power Within 3 day event with Higher Laws, I went from being disconnected from my husband, stressed out with my daughter and feeling like everyone was pulling me in a million directions to a place where I now have the energy and love needed to create a marriage that's better than the day we got married, I love being home raising my kids (now I have two and one on the way so I needed all the help I could get!) and I actually want to help those around me because I have the energy to do it!

Okay I promised you the principle that completely shifted everything for me and so many of the women I have worked with as a master coach so here it is.

What sets women free to come first in their own lives is to change our priorities to a happy, health and productive order.  So what is that order?  It is having a connection with the divine or Creator first, taking care of yourself, then your partner, then kids, and then everyone else.  Sounds good in principle doesn't it but you might be wondering how do I actually do that when I have a million things to do and my to do list looks like a scary two headed monster.  I promise you that it is easier than you think and when you do it you will have the energy you need to not only slay that two headed monster to-do list but actually enjoy life while doing it!  All you need to do is follow these four simple steps.

4 Steps to Happy, Healthy & Productive Priorities

1. Creator - Find one thing to connect with your Creator first (prayer, meditation, saying thanks)
2. Yourself - Do one thing everyday that gives you more energy (walk, find 5 things your grateful for, health smoothie)
3. Partner - Do one thing to connect with your partner (share 1 thing you admire about him, give a hug)
4. Parent - Find one way to hit your kids hearts (tickle little ones, ask how their feeling, give a hug)
5. Public - Do one thing to serve someone outside your family (help someone, smile)

I promise that as you shift your priorities using the 4 Steps to Happy, Healthy & Productive Priorities you will have more energy, get more things done (the most important things) and you will feel more love for the people around you.  So ladies stop coming in last and start putting yourself first so you can create the life you want!

If you want a free coaching session to find more ways to create even more peace, effectiveness, financial success and happiness in your relationships e-mail andy@higherlaws.com.

Connie

UNLEASH THE HERO IN YOUR MAN!

The biggest complaint most women have is than men in their life simply won’t step it up. 

The secret that most women don’t know is that they hold the keys to unleashing the hero within their man. 

The best part is that the key is to unleashing the hero in your man is in four simple steps.  

With the four steps to unleashing your man you will learn here, you will be able to not only ask for what you want but will actually get it!  When I didn’t know about these four steps to unleashing your man I was frustrated, angry and resentful about why my husband would not do what I asked him to do.  Once Brandon Broadwater shared these four steps to unleashing your man with me, it was incredible how my husband Andy went from being the guy I would nag to clean up the kitchen to being the guy that would do anything to clean up the kitchen because he knew it was important to me.  He became my hero!  

The first step in unleashing your man is seeing him in a positive light.  For most people this change needs to come from within first so where do you start when you just see the dirty clothes he left lying on the floor and his breathing sounds annoying?  Start by thinking about 1-3 things you admire about him everyday…go on ladies you can find 1 thing! 

The second step is to tell him in a way he can hear!  Have you ever had the experience of trying to talk to your partner only to feel completely unheard as he vacantly watches sports or his favourite show?  That is because you are not using your full feminine power and speaking in a way he can hear.  What do I mean?  Let me ask you a question…do men live in the emotional or the physical world?  The physical right?  So if you want him to hear you…you gots to touch him!  I’m not talking about anything sexual so get your minds out of the gutter!  Touch the back of his neck, arm or shoulder before you open your mouth and just watch what happens.  When I first tried this out with Andy, his head spun around so fast to listen to me that I was a little concerned about whiplash!  

The third step to unleashing your man is to tell him what you admire about him. How often do we think something kind and loving about someone and we don’t tell them?  When I first tried this Andy was sitting at the kitchen table, his body was hunched over his work.  I walked up, touched the back of his neck and immediately got his attention.  Then I looked him in the eyes and told him what I admire about him.  I said “Andy I really admire how much you love us and are willing to do anything for us.”  You know how he responded?  Have you ever seen those foot pumps for air mattresses?  You know the kind where you step on it and then a puff of air goes into the mattress?  Well giving Andy those admirations was just like pumping him up.  I said the first one and he sat a little taller, then the next one he started smiling and by the third one he had a huge grin on his face and his chest was puffed out a little.  He was the man!  It was as though a switched turned on within him and this hunger to hit my heart was lit within him.  

The fourth step is to ask for what you want.  Ladies how can we expect our men to read our minds?  The only way to get what we want is to ask for it in a way he can hear.  So how do we do that?  Ask for one specific thing! How I did this with Andy is I said “There’s just one small thing that if you did it, it would totally hit my heart. If you could clean up your dishes when you’re done.” You know what he did?  He did it!  He cleaned up his dishes because he felt admired, and he knew how much it meant to me.  

So what are the 4 steps to unleashing your man? Here’s a recap...

1. Find 1-3 things you admire about who he is as a person (loving husband, devoted dad)

2. Touch him (back of his neck, arm, shoulder)

3. Tell him what you admire about him!

4. Ask for one specific thing you need (“there’s one small thing that if you did it would hit my heart. If you could pick up your socks it would mean so much to me.”)

I know that if you follow the four steps to unleashing your man you will find even more love and fullfillment in your relationship and your man will be even more of the hero he can be. I am so grateful for learning about these 4 steps to unleashing your man at the Mastering Your Power Within 3 Day Event with Higher Laws. I wish I could give you everything that I learned there that took my marriage from “okay” to "better than the day we got married” but Brandon Broadwater uses an entire day to cover the higher laws of relationships.  I can tell you this though…start with the 4 steps to unleashing your man and I promise you will be shocked at how much more willing your partner is to do the things you need him to do!

Interested in more information about how to have even more love in your relationships and you want a complimentary coaching session with a master coach call 702-577-1676 or e-mail andy@higherlaws.com.

Use the 4 steps to unleashing your man and tell me how it goes!  I would love to hear your stories.  

Connie