Friday, September 23, 2016

LESSONS FROM GRANDMA




My grandmother Millie Massie passed away recently and I had the opportunity to be with her during the last few weeks of her life before she moved on from this life. I have reflected on my grandmother's life and the lessons she has taught me through the way she lived. Today I would like to honour her by sharing those lessons with you.

In the process of seeking for lessons in my grandmother's life, I had the opportunity to interview some of the people who loved her most. These conversations helped the story of her life unfold just a little more.  There was a pattern that emerged, a set of 5 key principles of how to live a joyful life that she embodied and taught me through the way she lived. I will share these principles today.

Before we explore the principles my Grandma taught me, I would like to share who my grandmother is. I say "is" because although her physical body is no longer with me, her spirit very much is. When I asked people to describe my grandma in 2 words, I was surprised to find that many people used similar words to describe her. So who is Millie Massie? She is gentle, a good friend, fun, big hearted, caring, strong, full of life, generous, strong willed, competitive, family oriented, honest, patient and selfless. 

These are the qualities that empowered her to teach us the 5 key principles through the way she lived. These principles have helped to shape me into who I am today. What are the key principles that my grandmother taught and lived? Lets begin with a story. 

Love One Another 
 
I remember walking up the front walkway to my grandma’s house, ringing the doorbell and seeing her beautiful face coming towards me through the window on the porch door. She opened the door and with arms open wide gave me the biggest hug and began to pick up and cuddle my children who scampered into her home. She had a tea party all set up for us because somehow no matter the time of day, there was always a plate of cakes and cookies on a lace table cloth and the smell of freshly brewed tea filled the air. We had barely entered her dining room when she slipped off to a side bedroom and returned with a bag full of children’s kitchen toys. My children quickly emptied the bag onto the floor and soon were bringing us culinary creations as grandma happily played along. There was always however one intruder in our picnic fun. You see this bag of children’s toys was composed of 99% kitchen toys and 1% pretend cockroach. Those odds sound pretty good however it came with a catch. You see, we never knew where that pretend cockroach was or where he would end up. We started to call him Bob the bug and Bob had a propensity for showing up in the most unusual places. Places like Grandma’s tea cup. There was more than a few times when poor grandma had a bit of a jump when Bob took her by surprise. We would all laugh at the game and my daughter Zoe would stay busy searching for the next place to hide Bob.

Why do I tell you that story? I tell you this story because grandma had a way of making whoever she was with feel special. She was fun to be around and her home was a welcome place with laughter and stories and always delicious treats. The first principle my grandmother taught me was to love one another. She lived this principle in everything she did. 

In my family as in all families there has been contentions that has surfaced over the years. Whenever I would visit my grandma her reaction to these family tiffs were always the same. She would say “family is family.” That is how she was. She was the one who would attend the wedding of the estranged family member and call the family member that no one else was talking to. She patiently waited for people and unconditionally loved them. 
Be generous

The second principle my grandmother taught was to be generous. She was generous in time, money, and spirit. Millie was the kind of person who always was collecting something to help someone. She was the family depot to drop off clothes, pop can tabs, soup labels and toilet paper rolls because she knew of someone who could use them. Grandma was constantly donating baking for bake sales and she volunteered countless hours at the Cross Cancer Clinic and the Veterans Home. 

My grandma spent her time looking for ways to make the world around her better for the people she knew and those she didn’t. 

Live life fully

The third principle Millie taught is to live life fully. If Millie wanted something she would make it happen. She travelled the world from Hawaii to Paris and everywhere in between. As a young girl I was inspired by her courage to travel by herself and so I set my sights on journeys of my own. 

Grandma lived life full on. This is a story that reveals just how full of life my grandmother was. You see, her niece Wendy had invited a nice chap to be her date at Joyce’s wedding. During the butterfly song, Wendy passed her unsuspecting date to my grandmother.  He linked arms with Grandma and as she began to spin him around he could not have known what was about to happen. You see, my grandmother is a slight woman and just by looking at her, one cannot accurately assess the shear power that is within her. As she spun this unsuspecting young man around and then released him, she sent this poor boy flying across the dance floor.  He ended up sliding across the floor on his bottom. They all laughed and continued the dance and I'm willing to bet that the poor boy found a new dance partner!

Faith

The fourth principle Millie taught us was to have faith. My grandma knew God and loved him. She knew there was something waiting for her beyond this life. I know that too. I know that my grandmother is no longer in pain. I know that God is real and that he loves her and us. I know that she is with him now and that she is happy. My grandma talked about her faith and what she believed happens when we die.  The faith she had strengthened her throughout her life. I recall seeing my grandma weeks before she passed away. Her body was weak from the sickness she was fighting but her spirit was strong. I laid on the bed beside her and looked into her beautiful blue eyes. She reached out and touched my face. I could tell by the look in her eyes that she knew she was about to pass through the veil soon. I asked her if she was scared and she replied “no. If it must be then it must be.” She had a peaceful look across her face and I kissed her forehead. She had a determination and strength that pulsed within her and kept her going even when it defied medical explanation.   She was surrounded by many of the people she loved right until it was time for her to pass away from this life and move onto the next part of her journey.  

Perseverance 

The fifth principle that Millie lived was perseverance. Millie did not have an easy life but she made the best of it and found joy and love within the best and worst moments. She lost many people she loved over the years. She found love three times but unfortunately they all passed away. I can’t even imagine how difficult it must have been for her to lose her companions. Millie also lost her daughter Jeannette and son Jim. These losses were devastating to her. Yet somehow she managed to leave her heart open to continue to be loving and find joy in her life. Russell M Nelson said that “mourning is the deepest expression of pure love, The only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love out of life.” My grandma lived this principle.

The lessons that Millie taught through her lived life was to (1) Love one another, (2) Be generous, (3) To live life fully, (4) To have faith, and (5) To persevere.  My grandma epitomized these principle.

In this life each of us will lose people that we love. I've pondered how can we grieve peacefully when we  long for more time with the people we love, how can we leave our hearts still open to loving, laughing, and honouring their life and the lessons they taught us? I believe that the path to do this is through remembering them and the lessons they taught us by living those principles. I know that as I continue to honour my grandmothers legacy by loving one another; by being generous with my time, talents and resources; by living fully; by having faith; and by persevering her spirit is carried forward through my life.

When we truly look at the impact of the people we love, we see the law of compounding in action. Their example of how they live their life teaches us how we can live ours and all the people whose lives they have ever touched during their time in this world. My grandmother's example has shown me how to love more, live more and serve more. 

In the last days that my grandmother was with me I asked her what her best advice is.  My grandma thought for a moment and then gently said “be true to yourself and take care of your family.” I will take your advice Grandma and will live the principles that you taught and lived. Until we meet again, know that I love you, I will remember you and that you touched my heart with your life.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks so much for posting this Connie. You always inspire me deeply. By living the principles that your Grandma epitomized, you can help bring even more joy to this life, and honour her essence and spirit. Much love to you and your family. :-)
    -Janice

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