SELF DOUBT

Self Doubt

There is something that lies in wait within us that when we allow it to run free, it can tear down our ability to reach our goals. It is so insidious that we barely see it in our lives and yet the effects of it on us can be so great. The difficult thing about it is that no one else can tangibly see it, a doctor cannot remove it, and we cannot look in the mirror and with surety say “there it is”. Yet it is within all of us at some time or another. What am I talking about? I am referring to self doubt. The belief in ourselves and what we can accomplish is one of the most basic and yet critical components to what we are actually able to achieve. However, it is in our very nature to have self doubt. Everyone in this entire world has it to some degree or another. Although it is in our nature to have it, we also have the ability to overcome it. That is what we will talk about today, the 4 steps to overcoming self doubt so that we can be set free to work towards achieving what we desire. 

To understand self doubt we need to understand how exactly it stops us. There is a challenge to overcoming self doubt and if we don’t know it exists, that not only stops us from overcoming it but makes it so we don’t even know it is there. This is the challenge of the self doubt wall. You see when we allow self doubt to enter our mind by entertaining the self doubt thoughts and allowing them to stay, it is as though a wall begins to form in front of us. All the negative thoughts about ourselves like “I can’t do this”, “I’m stupid”, “how could I have screwed up again” accumulate and block our ability to move forward. They keep us stuck in the dangerous place of inaction. When we understand this though we can move forward even thought these negative thoughts that accumulate into a self doubt wall are before us. There is something we can do to overcome the wall of self doubt. This thing will allow us to leap over the wall towards our goals. We can use something called rigor to overcome our self doubt. To be able to use rigor we must first understand what it is. Rigor is the ability to do something even though it is difficult. It is the will within us to move forward even though we don’t want to, we don’t know how, we can’t see how it will work out. It is our willingness to try anyways. In this life rigor is required to jump over the walls of our own self doubt. When we are in action we do not have time to ask if we can do it or not. You see, as Brandon Broadwater says “people will take you as seriously as you take yourself.” How seriously we take ourselves lies within our ability to see over our self doubt to our full potential and our willingness to reach for that potential even when we are not sure how. 

There are times in this journey however when we will be met with uncertainty. We may at times try and fail. We may feel discouraged about our efforts that are not working as quickly as we want them to. We may feel alone in our trying to succeed. We may feel like it’s not worth the effort. In those moments we must understand something. We must understand this principle because that discouragement that we feel can either drag us down to the depths of inactivity or despair or move us forward. It can steal our dreams or empower us to light a force within us that is so great that it can overcome anything put in our path. To underhand this principle I will share with you a quote by Neil A. Maxwell. He said “discouragement is not the absence of adequacy but the absence of courage.” So lets not allow the absence of courage to enter our lives and our dreams. Let’s not delay finding the courage within us to powerfully move forward and take the next step towards what we desire to achieve. There is courage that lies within you. More courage and ability that you can possibly imagine. It is waiting. It is waiting to be set free in the small consistent actions that you will take towards what you desire. So take a step. 

I promised at the beginning of this discussion of self doubt to share with your the 4 steps to overcoming self doubt. I am a woman of my word. The four steps to overcoming self doubt when you follow them will allow you to overcome discouragement and the wall of self doubt. It will light the courage that lies within you and help you to find the rigor you need to succeed. It will allow your creator to work with you and help you along your path. So here they are:

4 Steps to Overcoming Self Doubt

1. Alignment to Higher Law Principles
2. Manage your state of mind
3. Serve those around you
4. Stay in growth 

Now that we know what the 4 Steps to Overcoming Self Doubt are let’s pull them apart a little so we can truly underhand them. Alignment to Higher Laws really means following the Higher Law Principles you know are true. So for example if you know that it is a true principle to start your day by talking to your Creator and saying thank you, alignment means that you do it. 

Manage your state of mind means doing what it takes to not entertain negative thoughts about yourself that leads to self doubt. An example of this might be that when you notice a negative thought, don’t beat yourself up about it, just ask a question that helps you feel good. An example of this might be “what do I do well?” or “what am I grateful for?” Shifting our focus allows us to shift our thoughts, feelings and actions.

Serving those around us is critical to overcoming self doubt because when we are in the service of others, we get a breather from our own problems. We don’t have time for self doubt when we are engaged in the act of lifting another.

Staying in growth means allowing yourself to try and sometimes fail. Making it okay for your to learn lessons and discover what you can do even when you are not sure how to do it at first. It is only through trial and error that we can grow. Give yourself space to fall down. Just get back up, brush yourself off and know that you are in the incredible act of becoming more. 

Principles in action

I once took on the task of organizing an event that I had never done before. I was flying in an international speaker and had two other well known speakers to an event that I was the sole organizer for. The only issue was that I had no idea how to do it. I had never organized an event like that before. I was a stay at home mom most of the time and was working part time in my business. In the space between dropping off my daughter at preschool and picking her up again less that 2 hours later was my only time to work on this daunting project. I recall thinking so many times “I can’t do this” and “what if no one comes.” Sometimes the hardest thing I would accomplish in my tiny blocks of work was to overcome these thoughts of self doubt. To make matters worse,  I was having a really hard time accomplishing the task. About two weeks before the event I had a grand total of 14 people registered for my auditorium sized room. I was panicked. How would I possibly be able to pull off this event when I was already proving that I couldn’t do it? My self doubt became louder. I eventually got to a point of no return. A point when I realized that I couldn’t do it on my own but that maybe the Creator knew how I could do it and could help me. I began to use the 4 steps to overcoming self doubt that I leaned at the Master Your Power Within event and things began to shift. How did I use these steps? I made sure that before I called anyone I talked to my Creator first and gave up my self doubt, insecurity and fears. I managed my state by getting up out of my chair and doing my move (something I learned at the Master Your Power Within event to drastically change my state of mind). I focused on how I could truly serve the person I was talking to and asked the Creator for help to do so. I stayed in growth by being willing to fail and fall down and realizing that although it was not comfortable, it is an important part of growth. 

Doing these 4 steps changed everything and allowed me to go from having 12 people registered for the event to a place where the event was completely packed within a 2 week period. What changed? I changed. Even though I didn’t know how to do it, even though I was scared and unsure, even though I had self doubts I did it anyways. I took the next step, did the next right thing, got up when I fell flat on my face. You see we cannot be paralyzed by the walls of doubt when we are busy in action. Momentum disempowers self doubt. 

Let’s Make Sure We’ve Got it

• Self doubt can stop us from getting started towards our goals
• When we entertain self doubt it acts like a barrier in front of us
• We can use rigor to overcome self doubt by taking action even when we don’t know how it will work out
• 4 Steps to Overcoming Self Doubt
  1. Alignment to Higher Law Principles
  2. Manage your state of mind
  3. Serve those around you
  4. Stay in growth 

Digging Deep

Now that we have uncovered some of the truths about self doubt, you have a decision to make, will you apply what you know unto yourself? Will you take a look within yourself to find the areas of self doubt that are blocking you from reaching your full potential? What if the very thing you don’t feel like you can do is the very thing that the Creator is waiting for you do to, needs you to do? Will you put off your destiny for later or will you move forward courageously right now? You can start by asking yourself the following questions.

• what is one thing you feel like you need to do but worry that you might fail at?
  1. Alignment to Higher Law Principles - ask the Creator for help daily with the task you want to do
  2. Manage your state of mind - set a time everyday to work on the task you want to do and before you start the task get up and move your body (walk outside, deep breath, do jumping jacks, anything to get you moving)
  3. Serve those around you - ask the Creator “who can I serve today” and take action to help that person (helping those around you cheerfully will give you increased capacity and energy)
  4. Stay in growth - when you fail, just get back up and try again fast

I know you are reading this for a reason. There is something that you have been inspired to do or a goal that you desire. It is waiting for you and the increased capacity and potential that it will bring to your life. Don’t delay for an unknown someday. There is no day on the calendar marked someday. The time is now, today, straightway without delay. This is your moment so take it. 

Connie